she was my first crush on the internet. It was on myspace and we promised to meet one night at the bluffs. We never made it to the bluffs, but we did finally have a date. I met her at her house. She seemed like a grown up (she owned her home! I was still living with 5 other roommates in a crappy rental made for 2). I was so nervous! I talked too fast and couldn’t get a connect..I couldn’t quiet my brain enough to actually get to know her. I had built it up too much in my mind. After we played pool at a local bar, we said our good byes. I loved the idea of it. She had chickens and a dog. I could picture this nice, domesticated life with her when mine felt so messy. But I think she knew I wasn’t where she was and honestly I am not sure that I thought I deserved a “normal” life at that time.  Now I know, I did deserve it.  Year: 2006


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